Steve’s Best Outdoor Tips

 

I’m asked for outdoor “tips” quite frequently. So I want to share some of my best with you.

I accumulated them over the years, reading Internet forums on nature and bushcraft. Unfortunately, I cannot provide credits to the originators.

If you have similar tips, please feel free to post them to the “comments” section below. I’m eager to add to my list!

 

My Outdoor Tips

 

When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.

 

The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges.  Steer clear of those named for landfills.

 

Modern rain suits made of fabrics that “breathe” enable hikers to stay dry in a downpour.  Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.

 

Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter.  Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying match.

 

You’ll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.

 

You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.

 

When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt.  It gives you something to wipe your nose on.

 

Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping: Shine a flashlight into one ear.  If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.

 

A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish.  A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.

 

The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.

 

The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations.  The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.

 

It’s entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.

 

Bear warning bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country.  The tricky part is getting them on the bear.

 

Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.

 

While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded.  Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

  

Have you heard outdoor tips of the same caliber?  I would love to hear them in the comments below!

 

More Funny Business on NatureOutside

Grandpa’s Tree Joke

Animal ID Joke

Animal Tracking Joke

 
For fun facts and useful tips, join the free Bushcraft Newsletter.

SteveBioStrip1

4 Comments

  • Dave Denio says:

    When hiking, avoid locomotion to save calories.

  • Jen (from CalNat) says:

    Always wear bear bells to warn a bear about your approach. To know if bears are in your area, look for their scat. To identify black bear scat, look for berry seeds in it. To identify grizzly bear scat, look for the bells.

    • Steve says:

      Haha! That is too funny! If I am ever attacked by a grizzly, my plan is to give it indigestion. 🙂

      – Steve

Leave a Comment